


Batman could totally kick Iron Man's butt!

by FeralFighter



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Kindergarten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 07:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralFighter/pseuds/FeralFighter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel for 'There's a dead Lusus outside our apartment'.<br/>Geez, they've grown like weeds. It's hard to believe their already 5! Now it's time to let them enjoy the best years of their lives that is kindergarten (because let's face it, the guy who said that your school years are the best years of you life is a dirty liar...or possibly drunk)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Batman could totally kick Iron Man's butt!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey!
> 
> I think I've kept everyone waiting long enough for this sequel, finally got my arse into gear and got this baby started! Already looking forward to this since I actually know what the hell I'm on about with kids (unlike there's a dead lusus outside our apartment, where it's pretty obvious that I know absolutely fuck all about babies XD)...Also feel like I'm gonna end up hitting myself with the nostalgia stick since I still remember my days in Kindergarten. Good times~
> 
> Also, sorry about the title, it's really only relevant for this chapter...It's pretty damn obvious I'm terrible at these things
> 
> Alright, time to shut up and get this baby rolling!

"DAVE, THAT'S MY IRON MAN BACKPACK!" A shrill screech filled the apartment.

"No it's not, it's mine!"

Dirk just sat at the kitchen table, ignoring the screaming so he could enjoy his morning coffee and newspaper. It was WAY too early to put up with this shit.

The oldest Strider took a swig from his mug, when he heard the sound of feet stomping around the apartment. Lowering his reading material, he saw a tiny, scruffy haired troll, diluted red crocodile tears welling up in his eyes as he clung to his pant leg.

Dirk sighed as he picked up the little troll, and sat him on his lap, "Hey little man, whatcha crying about?"

"DAVE TOOK MY IRON MAN BACKPACK!"

"I DID NOT!" Dave shouted as he ran into the kitchen.

"Alright, calm down you two. Karkat, I'm pretty sure I got you the Batman backpack, and Dave got Iron man."

"I told you!"

Karkat let out an unholy shriek at Dave, almost leaving a ringing sound in Dirks ear.

"Whoa, settle down Karkat, what's wrong with Batman?"

"Batman's a poopy head! Iron Man is so much cooler!"

Dirk couldn't help but chuckle at the typical childish response.

"Hey, Batman isn't that bad. Here, let me tell ya a secret."

Karkat leaned his head in so he could hear what his guardian's secret was.

Dirk cupped his hands around his mouth, and moved his mouth to Karkat's ear to whisper. "Truth is, Batman could totally kick Iron Man's butt! Both my be rich, smart, and badarse, but Batman knows EVERY superhero's weakness. He would know Iron Man's weakness, so Batman is totally better."

Karkat pulled away, gasping in awe, "REALLY?!"

"Totally, now better grab your bag so you're packed before we go."

The tiny troll hopped off his lap and ran off to hunt down his bag. Dave just stood there, his eyebrow raising over his pointy anime shades that matched his brothers.

"What did you tell him?"

"Ah, nothing to worry about, kiddo, just pass me your bag so I can pack your stuff.

 

"Well well, if it isn't Dirk Strider." A female troll smirked, her jade green eye's scanning the man over when he walked into the building.

"Well well, if it isn't Porrim Maryam. Haven't seen you around since we finished high school." Dirk cracked a grin back, adjusting Dave his arms, while his other charge clung to his pant leg

Porrim chuckled, "Has it really been that long?"

"I know, it's nuts."

The woman's gaze moved down to Dave, who was trying to hide from the bigger troll in his brothers arm. "I'm guessing you're here to drop off this cutie."

"I'm actually here to drop off two."

Porrim was confused for a moment before noticing the little troll hiding behind Dirks leg.

"Ahh, so this is the little guy Arania's told me about. Can't believe you found such a precious little wriggler." The troll cooed, crouching down to greet the younger. "Hello, what's your name?"

The other stayed quiet till Dirk nudged his leg slightly, "...Karkat."

"Well Karkat, I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun together." Porrim gave a warm smile, which encouraged Karkat to crack a little one of his own.

"So are you one your own? I thought kindergarten teachers are meant to have an assistant."

"I do, but he seems to be running a bi-"

"Hey chief, sorry I'm late, got caught up in traffic." Someone called out as he entered the room, leaving Dirk dumbstruck when he saw who it was.

"Cronus?!"

"Huh...Hey! Long time, no see Strider!" The sea-dweller grinned.

"Holy shit, who decided to let you be around kids?"

Cronus frowned at the comment, "Hey, I happen to lowve vworking vwith kids, they're a lot of fun to entertain. Don't lump me together to hovw I vwas back in highschool."

"I'm sorry it's just...holy shit, I never would have pegged you as someone who would work with kids."

"You shouldn't be swearing in front of kids," Porrim chided, "Actually, Cronus is a natural with kids, they really enjoy it when he plays the guitar."

"That's fine, I'm good as long as they don't pick up on anything related to the birds and the bee's, I've already had Aranea reading them 50 shades of grey and other equally horribly written smut."

Cronus couldn't help but pull a rather disturbed face, while Porrim covered her mouth with her hand to hide her ammused smirk.

Dirk pulled Dave off him and placed him down on the ground next to Karkat, squatting to their eye level, "Alright boys I'm off, now I want you both to behave, respect Ms Maryam and Mr Ampora, and play nice with the other kids when they get here."

"Yes Bro." both said in unison. Their guardian grinned and ruffled their hair before standing up.

"Alright, neither of them have any allergies, though Dave's gonna need to be supervised when he goes to the toilet, he's got a bit of a problem with aiming; and Karkat a bit sensitive, so he'll break out in temper tantrums when he's upset."

Porrim nodded as she pulled a notebook from the bench behind her and jotted down the information "That's fine, it's nothing we haven't worked with."

"Sweet. I'll be back around 2:30 to pick them up."

And with that, Dirk was gone and both boys were becoming a bit edgy now that their big brother had left them with complete strangers, which Cronus picked up on. "Hey," the boys turned their heads to the sea-dweller, "Hovw about you make yourselves at home on the couch owver there, and Uncle Cronus vwill read you a book." The boys seemed to perk up on this and made their way to the reading area, having a little spat over who sits on which side of the couch. Cronus plopped himself in the middle to separate them, 'The very hungry caterpillar' in hand. He began reading, which instantly had the boys enthralled by the book.

Porrim rolled her eyes with an amused grin on her face, 'Slacker.' she thought, grabbing out crayons to place on the table in preparation for when the other children arrived.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm gonna enjoy writing Cronus =w=
> 
> I feel like this'll end up just being a series of one/two shots that'll tie in with each other. Also, keep a look out, I'll take requests/suggestions when I open them so people can contribute for certain chapters! :D


End file.
